haha... yup yup... have been slacking for like 4 days??? haha... now then start doing my hrm editing... cant blame mi... i jus received it ytd 12+am... haha... pushing the blame to others... oh well... typical mi i guess...

was toking to him jus now... haha... weirdo... or generation gap? cos he is an uncle? haha... somehow need to explain alot when i'm toking to him... almost puke blood... he seems to look at my reply veri seriously... like the words i use and all... hmmm... learn something new abt myself today... haha... he made mi realise something abt myself... was toking to him abt hrm lect... then i was say ".... haha... haiz... anyway we dun see her anymore..." then he said that i'm self contradicting... cos i haha then haiz... so am i happy or sad? then i tried to explain by saying tat i had a habit of typing haha and haiz in my msg... then he said tat haha and haiz wont be used tgt... which is kinda true... and is something tat i didnt realise it myself... then he said tat i'm having complex feelings... between happiness and sadden... something like tat... cant rmb the exact words he used... then i told him "actually i nv think so much when i'm using those words... maybe..." then he quote my tat sentence again... saying that i'm unsure of wat i wan... and unsure of the things ard mi... becos of the "i think" and "maybe" tat i used... haha... interesting isnt it?

i start to think tat i'm like wat he said... complex and self contradicting... unsure of wat i wan... unsure of everything... stuck in the mixed feelings of happiness and sadness... sometimes its hard to determine if i'm happy or sad... maybe when i look happy, i'm actually sad.... i guess its becos of mi hiding my feelings for a long time... and i'm stuck in the situation where i do not even noe wats my real feeling... i'm jus unsure... i got to be certain abt myself now... no more maybe... no more i think/guess... it will be hard... but i will try... haha...

learning more abt myself everyday... :)