haiz... i think i am top on somebody's hate list... 被人讨厌的滋味真不好受... i didnt noe i am so irritating... i dun hate him actually... jus those things he says hurts so much... so direct... so hurtful... maybe i am like tat to him too... is jus tat i do not realise it... i dunnoe... he is a hard nut to crack... some how i dun feel like doing anything to improve the situation... i think i should jus leave it... he only can feel his own pain but not the others... and i am going to lose a frend again... this feeling sucks... i really dunnoe wat to do... should i jus avoid or escape so that i dun need to face him, or should i jus ignore his presence and dun tok to him? i guess he wont tok to mi as well... haiz... so many unhappy things happened... and i really dunnoe how to handle them... but i really need to learn to handle them myself... cant always rely on other ppl to help mi...

wat shld i do? jus dun care? since it isnt the first time anyway... but i feel something is wrong... i hate that feeling... so near yet so far... i really wish to noe wat is going on... but i dun have the courage to... noeing more is not good... cos i noe i will only get hurt... since its not the first time, i think i will be able to pull thru without asking so much... cos i think i roughly noe the answer... substitution... entertainment... something to kill time... so useless...