i had enough

enough of doing all the rubbish
enough of keeping everything together
enough of all the f***ing attitude
enough of putting in all the effort but no returns
enough of taking initiative
enough of making decision
enough of ppl taking things for granted
enough of you
enough of me

sometimes i jus hate myself... trying so hard to pls everybody... but in the end getting myself hurt... i hate myself for thinking for the others first be4 myself... i hate myself for being so not truthful to myself... i hate myself for willing to suffer in misery so things wont turn ugly... i hate myself being a coward... not able to say wat i really feel... i hate myself being a perfectionist... wanting everything to have a happy ending...

i jus hate...

maybe some ppl will think tat i am trying to make myself sound nice and all... its ok if u dun feel tat i am doing all these... cos i will stop doing all these to u since u dun appreciate it...

now i noe why i cant go back to the old self... cos as ppl grow older, they tend to think more... maybe u can say it say growing more mature... u need to consider a lot of things... unlike when u r young, u jus say wat u feel, dun need to consider if the other party is hurt or not... u jus have the courage to say everything out... but as u grow older, things become more complicated... or we make things more complicated... tats why there are things that u can do and things tat u cant do... i'm so tired of such life...

我受够了。。。